How to Become an Erotica Writer

How to Become An Erotica Writer

 

  1. Write utterly scandalous and salacious fanfic throughout your teens, not knowing what fanfic is or that there are other teens doing the same thing.
  2. Abandon all things scandalous and salacious at the start of your university career, as you are a Serious Writer with Serious Things To Say.
  3. Stare at notebooks for hours in cafes on campus, wondering when writing stopped being fun.
  4. Graduate. Write for fun again, because writing for any other reason would be ridiculous, since you are now a grown-up who hates her day job.
  5. Toy with the idea of writing erotica, much as your main character might toy with the soft hair of her love interest, her long, elegant fingers tangling in the soft curls, her nails gently scratching her lover’s scalp. Ahem
  6. Delete that last sentence, for fuck’s sake.
  7. Write a thriller, a chick lit novel, a detective story, a children’s book, poetry, haiku and everything else you can think of that sounds more fun than your job.
  8. Somewhere along the line, find a day job you like.
  9. Discover JA Konrath’s blog. Seriously, discover it. I don’t always agree with him (I think traditional publishing is awesome and hope to live there someday) but he’s always entertaining, and he opens the mind.
  10. Discover Tiffany Reisz’s books and realise that erotica done well is absolutely kick-ass.
  11. Create a Twitter for your new erotic writer persona. Fancy yourself as Nora Sutherlin, Reisz’s main character (also an erotica author but so much more). Fancy yourself as the anti-Anastasia Steele.
  12. Become terrified at the idea of trying to rock as hard as Tiffany Reisz. Cower for a while.
  13. Write the bloody book. Pun intended, possibly. We’ll see. My characters are still being utter sweethearts to each other, which can’t last, but I can’t promise if there will be blood. Maybe in the sequel.
  14. Get an awesome cover designed. I love these guys.
  15. Self-publish the book.
  16. Write another book.

 

I am currently at Step 12, writing the bloody book. Fuelled by hot chocolate, Nanowrimo and cynicism, I am writing the bloody book. I wish there was a blog about there by an utterly clueless woman trying to write her first erotic novel to guide me on the way.

 

Here it is, I suppose. Hello world, and all that!

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